dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Randomize
