Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
