so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
