is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Randomize