Umm I'm too high to move.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
