Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
