I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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