My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
