Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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