god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
