Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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