in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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