Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Did you pee in the oven last night??
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