maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
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