Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
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