Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
