I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
