So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
