ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
She needs sedatives and a leash
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
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