matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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