at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
