Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
