I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize