so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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