either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize