i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
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