he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
