Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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