I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
that is very illegal...i love you.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
