so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
MIDGETS
????
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Randomize
