Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
