I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
