gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
