biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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