I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
