The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
can u get pink eye on your cock?
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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