I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
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