and you said cock pushups were impossible
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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