Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize