One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
