well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
