This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
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