Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
