I'm really into asian looking animals
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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