Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
