somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
17 year olds will be the death of me.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Randomize
