He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
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