sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
There r osticjed everywhere
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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