I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Randomize
