your room smells of hookers.
And success
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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