wat bout pragnant strippers??
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
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