wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
