He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
