There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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