I seem to have left my pride at pride
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
