I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
