But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize