He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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