listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
