The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
