I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
