there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
