Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
