Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize
