i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Randomize
