we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Randomize
