I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
