love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
